It’s Going to Take More Than a Contest

So to be Captain Obvious for a moment - I’m not winning in this contest. In fact, today I weighed in at 164. I thought it would be different. I thought there would be some sort of accountability factor because I’m in a public contest.

But I find myself more than ever thinking that I’ll “just have this extra slice of cheesecake today because I can’t tomorrow.” Tomorrow, of course, never comes.

Being 5′8″ and 165 lbs isn’t a horrible thing. I’m not appalling. Dare I say I even get checked out sometimes. (Sorry, dudes, I’m married.)

But my frame is small. I’m carrying extra weight. I can only do the dishes for maybe 10-15 minutes before my back hurts. I always gain in the front (abs, breast) first and that’s where the bulk of my weight is. It’s a literal burden, and I imagine it’s unhealthy. At least one study in recent years suggests that women who are gain weight in their abdomen are more likely than those who gain in their butt to have heart disease. And my maternal grandmother did have heart disease.

Ironically, I get my gut gaining issues from my paternal side. My grandmother was a round woman. She also had diabetes. So did my dad. And my paternal grandfather.

So this weekend I had to take a hard look at myself. And realize that I’m going to have to dig deep and make some permanent changes. I think the biggest will have to be making exercise a priority. I really love what Jennifer Laycock wrote about calories because I do believe that your body needs fuel.

I’ve been struggling with fatigue for three years now. It started with some medical issues and has kept manifesting itself through personal issues. I started responding to my losses by trying to have it all - all the time. And when I’m not able to do that, I avoid instead of deal with my problems. And I’ve done it by sitting squarely on the couch, watching TV or playing the computer. Or doing both at the same time.

Over the weekend, mostly Sunday night, I realized I’m going to have to make different choices on a permanent basis. I’m happy to say that so far this week has been different.

I declined to eat the last piece of cheesecake on Monday when the hubby was at work and the kids were at school. Tonight at Steak and Shake, I didn’t order fries with my patty melt. I did have a few of my moms fries. Yes, the patty melt is 610 and the fries added some calories on top of that, but I’m only at around 1400 for the day.

The biggest change has been exercise. I’ve exercised every day since Sunday. I learned some easy exercises by watching Access Hollywood of all things. Did you know that just repeatedly sitting down in a chair and then standing up again is great for your legs and butt? When I tried this I wasn’t surprised because I was working the same muscles as when I used to bike a lot, which is a good workout.

I also learned about an exercise where you hold a ball or weights out in front of you and then move them (arms extended) to the left and then to the right - keeping your hips in place.

So, I’ve been doing those in five minute intervals during the day. Before you think this all sounds wimpy, try it for yourself. It’s a better workout than you might imagine.

Today I exercised for almost an hour! I did Jennifer Galardi’s Ballet Strength, part of the All Star Workouts series on Fit TV, in addition to the above exercises.

I feel a little discouraged that I haven’t lost more weight this week. But I did start the week off back at my starting weight, so I’ve already lost 1.5 lbs this week. I guess I should actually be encouraged.

Anyway, these are just my honest thoughts about the mental process behind really committing to a lifestyle that leads me to a better, healthier weight.