My Dogs Are Not Happy

See those sad puppy eyes? Those represent my three dogs who are NOT HAPPY about the household being on a diet. Why? Because that means they are also on a diet. For years now, they’ve happily enjoyed lots of leftover scraps. (Hey, don’t tell me people food is bad for dogs. They aren’t dogs. They’re family. Now go bother someone else about that). Anyway, now we have nothing but healthy food, and not much of it! We are eating teeny tiny portions, which means I am eating every single thing on my plate, and not leaving even a crumb for the doggies.

They keep looking at me like I’m going to yell “PSYCH!” and then give them lots of goodies, but it isn’t happening. Instead, they wait for hours, finally concluding that no goodies are forthcoming, and then traipsing off to their doggie dish for their plain, drab, dry, dog food.

I’m worried. Pretty soon, they might decide to join forces and attack. Wait, no, that can’t happen. My dogs might lick a burglar to death, but they don’t have a fierce bone in their bodies. Ok, so I’m safe there, but I do still have to look into their pitiful, pitiful eyes, every day. Yikes. It’s enough to tempt me to go to Burger King. It wouldn’t be my fault, would it?